No matter how hard one tries, you can never really prepare to lose someone. I remember getting that phone call; her telling me that he was gone. Immediately everything around me froze, I couldn’t breathe and I gasped for air about 20 times and couldn’t find it. I felt my throat tighten, my heart racing and my whole body in agony. Even as a write this blog, I could feel the pain like it was yesterday. The day I lost my dad, was the first time I ever experienced true heart break.
Is it possible to learn how to deal with grief before it hits? Is it possible that the pain of losing someone you love could hurt less than it does? Is it normal to think that this pain never ends? One thing I have learned is that it’s okay to not be okay. I took time to feel the emotions I was going through, I learned that being sad is a part of life’s journey and that with time like all things I would heal. It took a while to accept the help I so desperately needed through this time, but I am so grateful for those who didn’t give up on me and didn’t stop pestering me. I strongly believe God sends some earthly angels in your life to help you through some of life’s greatest obstacles.
Eventually as I began to live without my dad, I found ways to cope with his absence. The fond memories of him keeps him alive every day in my heart. I have awesome photos and videos that help me keep him close. It’s in doing those things that we enjoyed together when he was around that makes his memory live on. While keeping his values and dreams alive, I strive to be half the man he was and I will live to fulfil his legacy.
This journey has taught me that there was no instruction manual that could teach me how to get over losing my father. Instead I learned to process my emotions and accepted that time was the medicine for this disease called grief. I didn’t try to rush it and I did not try to hide it. I accepted that the people who really cared would understand that it may take time for me to be ‘ME’ again. I found solace in telling God how I felt and was truly blessed by the love and support that surrounded me. A year later, I know I am blessed and that God allowed me to experience his love through a man I am proud to call my Dad.